Civil War

Who gets to claim the Third Coast? In San Antonio and, I assume, along the gulf states, the third coast refers to the Gulf of Mexico. You got your Third Coast surfing, Third Coast music scene, and, damn there's even a Third Coast peace movement. The list goes on and on, Third Coast hobbies, dance and rhtyhm festivals, adventure tours... All of these Third Coast movements can found in the Austin-San Antonio-Corpus Christi-Rockport polygon. Clearly the Third Coast belongs to South Texas.

But now there's a bunch of high falootin' motherfuckers up here in the Midwest trying to claim Lake Freaking Michigan as the Third Coast. The University of Western Michigan fancies its literary magazine as "one of the nation's premier university-based literary magazines." The name of the magazine? You got it, Third Coast. Chicago Public Radio is even getting into the act, touting its Third Coast International Audio Festival.

I even stumbled across a microbrew called Third Coast Beer during my latest sortie to the liquor store. I was on my way to get a six-pack of Shiner, when Third Coast Beer caught my eye. "No way!" I thought, "Must be a new Texas beer." I should have known better. On the label was not a map of the Gulf of Mexico, but Lake FREAKING Michigan!! Kalamazoo, Michigan hijacked the Third Coast label.

So is this another case of typical carpetbagging Yankees? Are they now stealing the Third Coast title from the good people of Texas? Until someone convinces me otherwise, I can't see it any other way.